Read the final chapter of We Make the Road by Walking.
Both Horton and Freire reflect on their experiences, looking for reasons or answers to explain their work, their lives, and their journeys. After reading this final chapter, I ask that you reflect on your lives, searching for stories that explain why you seek to be a teacher or youth worker in an urban setting. In a short writing (minimum 150 words), present one of those stories. Find one passage from the assigned reading that resonates with your story and type that passage word-for-word into your posting (please include the page number). Explain how the quote resonates with your story. Finally, ask a question of your readers. Return to this discussion, read all of your peers' postings, and respond to one of the questions asked. You must both post and respond to receive full credit for this discussion.
" All these contradictions I saw had to be resolved. I think more important than how I went about resolving them is the feeling that had become a part of me, the feeling that I had to do something about injustice and it had to be done not on an individual basis. This feeling became so much a part of me that I never even thought about it anymore."(Myles pg.233)I can remember when I was probably 15 or 16 I always wondered why other people from my culture picked on me or looked down on me. At first I thought it was because I didn't have the right shoes, clothes, or I was not good at sports. I was always treated as an outcast or like when it came to me I wasn't important. So I settled to be picked on as long as I could be a part of the "in crowd". Becoming a part of that group was probably the worst mistake of my life because I went on to do things I wouldn"t have normally done. When I think about how things were before then I don't think I would have changed if I knew then what I know now. I was an honor roll student, I respected my elders, I excelled in public speaking, an active member of church. And I did a total 360 becoming a part of things I had no business in being in. One day I just woke up(in a jail cell) and I thought about all of the things I had been through and had seen and decided it was time to create a new me and to help those around me to see things differently. When I see those young children out there on the streets using foul language, selling drugs, fighting, or participating in whatever nonsense is going on I can almost see a ghost of a younger me right in the middle. And a lot of those youth do know right from wrong but have a fear of being different. I want to teach them to embrace being different and doing the right thing because even though I hate to admit it as you get older if you make the right decisions I believe you will have less regrets. So what do think of my decision to do this? I always ask myself am I doing this for self redemption or am I doing this because I am a good person?
ReplyDeleteThere are many stories that I could tell that help explain why I became a teacher. Some of those stories have to do with the teachers that I had. To be honest, I was scared of most of my teachers until I was in junior high school. I wasn't scared of my teachers, but I was still pretty anxious around them. When I was in 7th grade, I had an English teacher named Erling Rolfsrud. He was a tall man who wore horn-rimmed glasses and bold colored (powder blue!? sunshine yellow?!) suits. One day - and this was 37 years ago! - he handed back a poem that I had written and took the time to tell me, "that's good - you could be a poet someday." It wasn't much, and I am sure that he'd be mortified to know how important that comment was to me, but it made a huge difference to the way that I thought about myself as a student and writer. There were many other teachers - Mr. Lynch, Coach Ennis, Coach Fisher, Prof. Swanson - who took the time to notice and encourage me. That made a huge impact on me. I remember those exchanges, and I try to pass on their compassion to the students with whom I work.
ReplyDelete[WARNING: I am not re-reading or revising this before I hit 'post'. I think my raw thoughts are probably more valuable unfiltered by shyness and my so-called 'better judgment'. We shall see.]
ReplyDelete"This boy will become a subversive" (243).
I am sure that my earliest yearnings to be a teacher came about in early elementary school. I can't remember when I realized that I could do a better job than my teachers, but I remember fantasizing about teaching my second-grade class. I think that my fundamental lack of respect for authority contributed to this greatly. I tend to test the limits of authority, setting examples for those less bold than myself. People are sheep; lemmings marching toward the cliff. It has been my primary goal since at least age 7 to master the ability to galvanize and gather malcontents together, in order that we may better resist authority. Very acute personality defects prevented me from fully exploiting this ability. Only in my adult life have I begun to understand the reasons behind my defiance, and it strikes me as funny that I went on for so many years with my bullshit, not even really knowing what I was fighting against. I suppose that I was the quintessential Reagan baby: a rebel without a clue [overused cliche, I know].
"Hopeless people make good fascists" (228).
I agree! Perhaps it is my inner Hitler that wanted McCain to win the election, thus further oppressing the peoples, pushing them closer and closer to the point of revolution. A hungry man (and Myles makes a good damn point about hunger) will follow anyone who can promise some food tomorrow. I grew up watching as my best homie basically exploited the hopeless youth of South Minneapolis (and surrounding suburbs) with dreams of riches and the fascist [yes, I can recognize it now] rule of the inner city where ruthlessness, numerical strength, weaponry, and ability to profit from daily crime are the tools for success. I've had my dhyanic states in the hood, same as Myles in the mountains:
"She represents all the people in the mountains and to get her into school wouldn't solve the problem that she raises in my mind. It isn't an individual solution. There's no individual solution to her problem" (230).
I see the hopeless looks on those faces that don't quite look at me as they get on the city bus. Just this morning, before I even read this chapter, I saw an old, fat, disheveled hag of a bag lady sitting on the bus bench on Franklin & 3rd. I thought to myself, what did she look like before Franklin avenue made her into this? In my teen years, I used to buy weed from kids younger than me on 38th and Chicago; kids that packed heat and kept razor blades under their tongues. Hell, some of them even put those guns up to my ribs and took my damn money. If there is something more hopeless and fascist than robbing someone that wants to buy weed from you, please tell me what it is.
There's no answer to be found in trying to target individuals as individuals; I think that we should re-evaluate our sociological constructs and realize that the INDIVIDUAL is the highest and only unit of society. When we can change society to fully allow the individual freedom to do their Wills, as a group, then we have transcended this thing that Myles is talking about here. Yes, it's a systemic problem, but the system is people! Nothing else! My question to you all is: do you see what I am getting at with this??? Remember my rantings about Structural Functionalism and how human society is a macrocosm of humanity, whereby the individual human is the microcosm. The medium is somewhere in another dimension, I guess.
"Sometimes people say to me that I am contradictory. My answer is that I have the right to be contradictory, and secondly, I don't consider myself contradictory in this. No, I'm absolutely clear. It was very important for me, and it has been and continues to be. If you ask me, then, if I am a religious man, I say no, I'm not a religious man. They understand religion as religion-like" (246).
Yes, I get this all the time. My professed religion directly conflicts with a lot of good ideas that I have, but somehow, I think that I mutated my brain enough to commit what I call "constructive doublethink". The ability to simultaneously hold two contradictory thoughts as true is a Holy gift, in my opinion... one that must be earned. I wouldn't presume to tell any other man what his trial is, but he should know that it will come, at some point, in some form, and it will literally define him as a human or a Man (I use 'man' including both genders, of course). For instance, my belief that the optimal way to achieve social change and universal freedom is through vanguardism (though not thought-terminating vanguardism) directly conflicts with several elements of Thelema, not the least of which is the verse: "I am alone; there is no God where I am."
I will close by saying that this is the best book that I have ever been forced to read in my life. I see this semester as a critical turning point in the shaping of my adult concept of education, revolution, and evolution (all the same thing, to me). While I still am trying to figure out the subtleties of the dynamic between activism and organizing, I think that I got a lot more out of this class than was probably intended.
I felt that transposing this to text on a screen would take the feeling out of it, so here is the scan of what I wrote tonight:
ReplyDeleteClick here to see my post
For me, since I am looking to be a leader of outdoor trips, and not aspiring to become a teacher, my reasoning is very different. The story I would like to share happened during my first trip through YMCA Camp Widjiwagan (with whom I am currently employed). I was 12 years old and had never been on any camping trip of any kind. My 12-year-old self lacked confidence along with assertiveness.
ReplyDeleteOver one portage (a very short one I might add), my counselor offered to walk beside me if I carried the canoe. I sheepishly denied her offer. She merely responded by saying "That's okay, you don't have to. But just so that you know... I believe in you."
A light that I had never even known existed was suddenly ignighted. "She actually believes in me," I thought. This tundra warrior actual believes that I can do this. So I took that canoe. I carried if for about 20 paces, but those steps were the biggest and most important steps I have ever taken in my entire life.
Knowing that I might one day have this effect on a young person's, or really any person's life for that matter, is the biggest reason why I want to be an outdoor guide. Laura Whaley (my couselor), helped me become the independent, capable, strong, confident woman I am today.
For me the reason to teach is simple. I want to make a difference. When I was in school there were not tons of people saying," You can be whatever you want" No one was saying that you could be president or work for channel 11. In fact, it seemed just the opposite. It seemed that the people were in charge of cultivating a passion for learning actually thought more about "self-preservation" and feared being wrong.
ReplyDeleteI know that our country was founded on the principle that one must be successful and that finishing first is the only place that matters. However, no human being is perfect. Therefore we can not fear failure, because it's going to happen. Seeing that it is impossible to know success without knowing failure, I feel that I was not prepared for either. Instead, the system kept things safe and didn't take any risks. This didn't do any favors for anyone.
I once attended a basketball clinic that was hosted by Clyde Turner. At this camp we opened and closed it with the same mantra. "If my mind can conceive it and my heart can believe it I will achieve it, because I am somebody." At the time there wasn't much thought given to the words, however now I would say that truer words have never been spoken. I mean, if you are going to take the time to dream, you might as well do yourself a favor and dream big and in color. After all, if you can't see yourself doing something there is NO WAY you will ever do it.
Growing up I seemed to have experience after experience that retarded my self esteem. I think I had a very wistful way of going through the motions and I'm sure it showed in my smile. Many things contributed to the withering of my self worth. I had a hell of a time with mean girls in the 5th grade. I think I started to withdraw from crowds around that age. School wasn't fun or exciting and I had some bad experiences there, aside from the bitchy prepubescent brats. I got suspended from school for something that wasn't my fault in middle school, with no previous record of a detention or a failing grade, and never bounced back from that experience. I developed a strong defiance toward all authority for several years after that. My mom labeled me as having ODD (oppositional defiance disorder) which I thought was a made up disorder until I read something about it in a psych book years later. I lived in and out of several foster homes, group homes, treatment centers (treatment for I don't even know what), and eventually dropped out of high school. I hated my teenage years with a passion because I had no control, stability, or self respect. Naturally all this baggage carried over into my adulthood with me. Couldn't escape that easy I guess? I was an empty shell of a person who had to create more demons to battle as an adult. So after many years of doing that I decided to start doing right by myself and for myself. Negativity gets real old and really lonely after a while. I felt so uneducated and wanted to make a comeback. The only thing that came to mind was to get an Edu. degree. Maybe I can put that to use? I'm so excited to potentially help youth build bridges and have some form of positivity in their lives. Why does growing up have to be so hard? It's so hard! I'd like to challenge kids in a good way and also give them a sense of relief from the crazy messed up world we live in. I want to teach them how to appreciate and enjoy education and smarts. Being educated is a HUGE self esteem builder in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteHorton said, "When your trying to build for the future, that's the creative period. I have always valued those low periods when you had to really struggle intellectually to try to get the sense of what was going on, so you could find little pockets to work in. That's the only way you'll ever be part of the struggle, when you climb the hill out of the valley." (pg 237)
I like this statement a lot! He's referring to something completely different than my story, but I found it applicable to many situations in my life. Struggles can be so wonderful and glorious because of the lessons learned and the strength gained. Maybe I was just being creative when I was younger(HA HA)! My mom would appreciate that one.
Do you think that if a person leads an easy life with very few problems to ever deal with they are experienced enough to deal with our youth as an educator?...especially the inner city youth?
Michael,
ReplyDeleteI think that it is very interesting that you were scared of your teachers before Junior High School, since I feel as though that is when thy lost allof their mystic and magic. I feel as though I fell back in love with teachers in High School, but Junior High teachers, man O' man, they seemed out to get me. However, I can definitely see how 7th grade could be a big year for a child. The summer before 7th grade was my first summer at Widjiwagan, and changed my life forever. But what really gets me is that fact that it came down to one person, saying one thing, to absolutely flip your world on its head (only in the most positive way of course).